Thursday, March 24, 2011

Russell"s Rules

Welcome Back for the first round in what is hopefully a brand new world of self awareness.

Probably not...  More like a revolutionary return to what was, but with a bit of a fresh twist to what needs to be said on things that have been festering under the bandages of what doctors have been calling 'political correctness'.  But before we can start hacking  the tonnage of ass off that carcass, I am going to have to continue to be purposefully vague and maintain course as I lay down the ground rules for proper cohabitation in my happy little virtual sphere.

In no specific, but equally ebbing order of importance, here are the Rules to Russell's World...

First & foremost...  Profanity.  Pro, by its very nature is the act of being , "in favor for/of".  Fane is a four letter word no longer used (between 1350 &1400 England) for "church".  So, (playing the game) profane would lead one to believe that you are being actively supporting a, say, religious cause; given my research.  Now I'm not going to immediately draw the line in the sand and have riot control standing by in 2 short paragraphs, but I am saying:  Just cause there are some (more like an endless slurry) tasty cussy tidbits that read like a drunken frat boys nonsensical self indulgent rant about his johnson and how society just doesn't get his generation; and how all the use of 'profanity' is 'so beneath' you...  Ask your high browed ass this; did you ever bother to investigate the definition of profanity?  And "no"!!!  I didn't ask for 'just' the DEFINITION...  "Investigate"   But then in today's society that would take something defined in 1970's terms as the old four letter word known as WORK!  In other words, I intend on using a lot of swearing.  I believe it speaks to the masses.  And the to masses that feel that this form of verbality speaks beneath them...?  Might I say that they are the one I speak the most pro-fane to.

Next Rule...  Semantics...  I am not a lawyer.  I don't get paid as a lawyer.  I hold no doctrine as one, nor am I licensed as one.  I didn't take the bar in any state but have been in one in many states (lame joke, took the shot while I had it).  The closest I got was some masters degree classes in law and I have a brother in law who is a lawyer (don't get any wild hairs either, I'm basically his Cousin Eddie).  As I had mentioned before, I am educated, and I will try to quantify most of the stuff I quote in these blogs, but I'm also trying to being silly in here too.  So let's not split cunt hairs over whether or not Uhura had the the same chromed ear wig communicator on when the Romulans attacked in Episode 26, shall we (I can already hear some of you fuckers chomping at the bit already...)?  Point is, I will be ranting about some subjects I deem important at whatever given time and some facts might get twist in translation.  Thus the title of the blog, right?  I'm sure some of you folks are just as opinionated as I am and are going to either agree or disagree given the toss of that coin.  Just when you whip out your pitifully small peter and squeeze out a couple of drops of piss for the top of my shoes; do me 1 small favor, allow me to make sure that I made a statement in the proper context.  I mean, no, I shouldn't be typing drunk, but it certainly beats driving that way.  And although words can be hurtful, they can be retracted.  Which leads to the next rule...

Apologize...  It might not happen.  This is a grand possibility and you're just going to have to get the fuck over it.  Why?  "I'm sorry" are just words.  You want them (words)?  There they are. And what did they do for you?  Not one fucking thing.  Facts are, my actions will speak as an apology much louder than any type written script will.  A much older, much wiser and very well life worn alcoholic told me that 'saying' I'm sorry doesn't mean shit if that's all you do.  Now, if your hanging a poster in your room and you dropped a tack, you sling your elbow down to try and catch it & accidentally elbow your buddy in the chest, knocking the wind out of them; yeah, "I'm sorry" is perfectly fine.  Bernie Madoff fucking mom & pop out of $50 billion, "I'm sorry" doesn't fucking cut it.  Get the picture.  So, when I write a blog later on the topic about you child not being the cutest thing on the planet surface, I'm not going to apologize.

Politics...  I fucking hate politics.  If it weren't for spell check I couldn't get it written into the blog correctly, that's how much I hate politics.  But I still have to write about it!  Its politics that got me where I am today as a matter of fact.  The very shallow, shell of a man that I am soon to be and that I am sure that a few folks have become were and may soon follow are victim of the masticating, masturbating, flagellating, life sucking, black hole, contradictory machine known as politics.  You know, back in college, there were guys I knew that had problems with being able to talk with other people.  So they would ask if you could go ask another guy for help.  That guy was the go between.  No big deal.  But then these 'go-betweens' decided they could make money at this and now we're all in the shit for it.  Make no mistake here in Russell's World, I am not going to argue politics.  All branches are useless.  Throw any negative action adjective at this you want.  Its already been done and abused before me.  No, I'm letting you know that I will be bashing just about any moronic off-shoot wanna-be party branch that thinks they are going to 'make a difference'.  All will answered and less vague as time merely presses forward.  Till then, let's just get through the rules..

Pedophiles...  You're all going to die.  I just can't seem to get a full blog out of this subject, but time will tell on that.

Religion...  My immediate answer to this one is this:  You go to your church and I'll go mine.  Slightly more detail stipulates, keep 'your' faith next to 'your' heart and I'll do the same.  Russell's World parameters state that those who follow a more rigid faith based doctrine are going to want to pay attention to the titles of the blogs.  Meaning, if the title sounds like a religious group might take a verbal beating by yours truly and you don't want to get your feeling hurt, steer clear of that particular topic.  EVEN IF THE TOPIC ISN'T YOUR FAITH!!!  Just cause it may say Catholic doesn't mean I'm not bashing everybody.  I have a good reason for this, which again will be explain later.

I am pro military.  That doesn't mean that if you were in the military that I am necessarily pro 'you'.  I "was" in the military and like all prior military we can smell our own.  Some asshole wanna-be can slip through.  Fool us for a while, but you will get caught and when you do, the mercy shown in battle will not be shown to you.  I was put under a bunch of stress while I was in, but not like the repeated stress of the folks since 2002.  Dependent on who I talk to or what I hear, I may write about them here.  There won't be any comments from the peanut gallery, unless they are from confirmed military. Nothing more there.

Another Rule... Cats is stupid. I have quantifiable proof to the fact. More on that later...

Typos...  Yes, I know how to proofread.  Do you?  Stay tuned to this blog & I'm sure you'll contest to whether or not this is indeed the case.  Facts are, get enough clicks under the fingers and you flat out get tired of re-reading what went on the screen.  Spell check only catches so much after so long and English has 3 different spellings for different words.  If I made a couple of mistakes, let the fucking thing go.  Call it a professional courtesy.  If I did 2 or 3 dozen times, I was either being a prick to someone and you were being thick (i.e., you didn't get the joke); I was drunk and needed to be called out [thank you, need to get in touch with a VA rep and dry out] or your just a hypersensitive individual with too much time that I will be commenting on in a blog later and a subject of the next rule...

Wining... This is probably the biggest rule of them all. Of all the rules, I can't stress this one the highest. Although I can't number these edicts, this one would be an obvious contender for first place and for obvious reasons. In every forum or chat room that I have probably frequented, inevitably someone eventually broke down into a quivering blob of self pity and started slobbering about whatever subject they were or weren't being taken seriously about. Granted, we have all found ourselves victim of a situation that had literally been stripped of our control and no hopes of escape. Loss of control is scary and I suppose a violation of sorts (given the circumstance). Being called a fag in a chat room with a bunch of other anonymous morons is not worth pining your life story about. [Those loading up your hate keyboard can unplug your water cooled CPUs. I'm not answering shit to Russell's Rules.] Wining doesn't equal a sign of weakness folks, it's a sign of whipped. You are already beaten. It took me 10 years to learn that one. Ask James Hetfield. Biggest winier I have ever met in my life! Piss and fucking moan! Could have made it in half the time had he stopped his bitching. Same as this guy I knew in the military. Emulated himself after James; almost the spitting image of the guy too. Attitude was just about the same as well. All he did was constantly piss about how he was due this and bitch he was owed that I had no choice but to pull him to the side and calmly state to him... matter of fact... NUT UP. You are a man. Not a winy little bitch. Put the pussy away. Quit telling everyone what you “THINK” you deserve. No one gives a shit what you “THINK”. If you earned it, then it would be in your hands. If its not then go find it. If you didn't earn it, STOP BULLSHITTING US!!!

Which comes to one of the few last rules... why Russell?

What make “YOU” so special (you, meaning [me]~Russell~) that you get to speak out about/against society and all it's supposed flaws. Are you so untainted and perfect, or are you “chosen”? Ego would say yes. But I am too old, too broken down and partially too wise for that shit, so I will answer that in one of the next blogs.

Let's suffice to say for right now that its because that I am the opposite. I'm tainted, imperfect and for damned certain the unchosen, thus the perfect man for the job.

Hell, never thought I would be this suited for a job in my life.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard the Fuck Coaster!!!  We recommend that you keep your hands and feet on board at all times as the speed and corning of this ride will tear your appendages off at any given moment.  Remember to keep your valuables and loved ones close at hand and to sleep with one eye open as everything on this planet will eat you.

Thank you for your stay and we hope that you survive....

1 comment:

  1. *yawn*

    Your hate is paltry honey based sauce.

    I love you and because I am you twin and that deepest of love is not paltry faggotry, that alone makes the world hate us.